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01702 302333
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For Young People (13-19)

Break the Cycle can offer support if you are in an unhealthy relationship or recovering from one

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What is an unhealthy relationship?
Take the Healthy Relationship Quiz!Troubled teen relationship
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Take the Healthy Relationship Quiz!
Take the Healthy Relationship Quiz!

What is an unhealthy relationship?

We define an unhealthy relationship as involving mean, disrespectful, controlling, or abusive behaviour.  This may include your partner:

Telling you that you’re involved in too many activities
Texting and calling you all the time, and getting angry if you can’t reply
Getting overly jealous or possessive
Pressuring you into sex or sending nudes
Threatening to hurt themselves because of you
Making you feel that you can’t do anything right
Accusing you of flirting or cheating

If this behaviour sounds familiar and you want help, please contact us.

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The Healthy Relationship Quiz

Question 1:
How many young people said they find it difficult to tell the difference between caring and controlling behaviour?
tick
1 in 3
cross
1 in 6
cross
1 in 10
Answer: 1 in 3
1 in 3 young people say they find it difficult to tell the difference between a caring action and a controlling one. Additionally, over a third of young people say that they don’t know where or who they can turn to for support if they are in an unhealthy relationship (Refuge and Avon, 2017). If you have any concerns about your relationship, you can speak with us at Break the Cycle.
Question 2:
What percentage of teenagers experience abuse within their relationship with their boyfriend/girlfriend?
cross
10%
tick
40%
cross
60%
Answer: 40%
40% of young people experience abuse within their relationship (NSPCC, 2009). Break the Cycle can speak with you about your concerns and help you if you are worried about your partners’ behaviour.
Question 3:
Is it ever ok to hit your partner?
cross
Yes
tick
No
Answer: No
No, it is never ok to hit your partner. Worryingly, a third of girls and half of boys when questioned thought it was ok to respond with violence to their partner (Boys to Men Project, 2013). If you have experienced violence in your relationship, you can speak with us at Break the Cycle.
Question 4:
"I would know and be sure if I was in an abusive relationship"
cross
True
tick
False
Answer: False
False. Two thirds of young women who reported that they’d never been in an abusive or unhealthy relationship had actually experienced abusive behaviour (Women’s Aid and Cosmopolitan, 2018). It can be difficult to now whether you are in an unhealthy relationship.  If you are unsure, you can speak with us at Break the Cycle.  
Question 5:
"It’s only abuse if it's physical"
cross
True
tick
False
Answer: False
False. There are many types of abuse someone may experience; it doesn’t have to include physical violence to be an abusive relationship.  Unhealthy/abusive relationships can also include emotional abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, financial abuse and control (UK Government definition of abuse).  If you have any doubts about your relationship, please contact us at Break the Cycle for advice.  
Next question
Question 1:
How many young people said they find it difficult to tell the difference between caring and controlling behaviour?
tick
1 in 3
cross
1 in 6
cross
1 in 10
Answer: 1 in 3
1 in 3 young people say they find it difficult to tell the difference between a caring action and a controlling one. Additionally, over a third of young people say that they don’t know where or who they can turn to for support if they are in an unhealthy relationship (Refuge and Avon, 2017). If you have any concerns about your relationship, you can speak with us at Break the Cycle.
Question 2:
What percentage of teenagers experience abuse within their relationship with their boyfriend/girlfriend?
cross
10%
tick
40%
cross
60%
Answer: 40%
40% of young people experience abuse within their relationship (NSPCC, 2009). Break the Cycle can speak with you about your concerns and help you if you are worried about your partners’ behaviour.
Question 3:
Is it ever ok to hit your partner?
cross
Yes
tick
No
Answer: No
No, it is never ok to hit your partner. Worryingly, a third of girls and half of boys when questioned thought it was ok to respond with violence to their partner (Boys to Men Project, 2013). If you have experienced violence in your relationship, you can speak with us at Break the Cycle.
Question 4:
"I would know and be sure if I was in an abusive relationship"
cross
True
tick
False
Answer: False
False. Two thirds of young women who reported that they’d never been in an abusive or unhealthy relationship had actually experienced abusive behaviour (Women’s Aid and Cosmopolitan, 2018). It can be difficult to now whether you are in an unhealthy relationship.  If you are unsure, you can speak with us at Break the Cycle.  
Question 5:
"It’s only abuse if it's physical"
cross
True
tick
False
Answer: False
False. There are many types of abuse someone may experience; it doesn’t have to include physical violence to be an abusive relationship.  Unhealthy/abusive relationships can also include emotional abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, financial abuse and control (UK Government definition of abuse).  If you have any doubts about your relationship, please contact us at Break the Cycle for advice.  
Next question

Break the Cycle will:

  • Listen to you

  • Help you to make sense of your experiences

  • Support you to look at things like equality, respect and misuse of power

  • Tell you about your rights

  • Talk with you on your own

  • Support you to work on your self-esteem and confidence

  • Help you develop ‘keeping safe’ strategies for the future

  • Offer you a choice of how much support you want

Teen boy thinking

Break the Cycle has been developed by Safe Steps, a specialist agency with a long history of supporting people of all ages who need guidance, help and assistance relating to unhealthy relationships and domestic abuse. We help people in lots of different ways; Break the Cycle is our specialist service for young people aged between 13 and 19.

How can I get help?

Contact Break the Cycle

If you don’t have any professionals supporting you, or you would like more information about our service first please call 01702 302 333 and ask for the Break the Cycle Team.

Contact Us
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01702 343868
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Reach Out

If you have a key worker, supportive teacher or other professional involved ask them to complete our referral form.

What can I expect?

Meet

When we work with you, we will meet you either at our office or at your school/college; somewhere where you feel safe. Due to current COVID restrictions this may not be possible, so we can meet with you via a phone or video call.

Meet
Discuss

Discuss

We will always be open and honest. We will discuss confidentiality and what this means for you. We will agree an action plan with you on topics such as identifying unhealthy or abusive relationships, safety planning, self esteem, sex and consent and warning signs to look out for.

First Session

We will normally meet for around an hour. The first session may be slightly longer to make sure we understand your situation.

First session
Future session

Future Sessions

As part of the action plan we will look at how often you would like to meet with us and when is convenient for you to do so.

If you are worried about someone else

  • Speak to them privately, tell them why you are concerned, give examples

  • Offer to get information for them from professionals, including us

  • Offer to be with them to speak to a trusted adult (teacher or support worker) about what is going on

  • Reassure them it is not their fault

  • If you are still worried or scared for them, always speak to a trusted adult (teacher or support worker)

Teen girl on bed looking at her phone
Group of people

LBGTQ

Break the Cycle provides support to young people who identify as LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans and those questioning their sexual or gender identity).  We understand that LGBTQ young people may experience additional barriers around feeling and being judged or may worry about being ‘outed’; we can provide confidential, professional and friendly support and help so that you can plan your next steps.

A note on confidentiality...

Aged 13-15
Aged 16+

If you are aged 13-15:

This means ideally we need your parents or guardian to agree that you would like to work with us. We will not discuss with them what you have talked about we just need them to be aware that you are talking to us. If there is something that we feel may put you in great danger we will talk to you about it and discuss who we may need to tell.

However, if you still do not want your parents to know call and speak to us to discuss this in more detail.

If you are aged 16 and above:

We do not need to tell your parents that you are working with us but we can help you talk to them if you want to.  If at any point we feel you may be put in danger or at risk then we will discuss with you who we may need to tell.

We understand that you may have questions or be unclear about things, and we will always talk about this further when we meet.

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The training gave me conversation starters to aid communication with young people.

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Break the Cycle has helped me so much… they have helped me through a terrible time. They’ve helped me to get my Universal Credit sorted, as well as giving me advice on safety planning.  They’ve asked the Police to flag my phone and passport and they are keeping me safe.  They’ve helped to look after me.  They’ve also given me emotional support.

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I’ve really enjoyed working with Break the Cycle; I’ve never felt judged and they’ve always made me feel comfortable.  They’ve helped me to improve my mental health and life choices.

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Break the Cycle have helped me.  They’ve always listened.

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I got the skills to help myself a lot more and I’ve become happier and more confident.  I am generally calmer and happier than I was when I first contacted Break the Cycle.

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Thank you for helping me to learn how to stay safe and how to positively cope when certain things happened.

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It’s been really helpful having someone to talk to.

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I was able to let my feelings out in a safe place.  I feel stronger to say ‘no’ to people.

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Helping young people to recognise and recover from unhealthy relationships

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01702 302 333
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Break the Cycle
4 West Road,
Westcliff-on-Sea,
Essex, SS0 9DA

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Break the Cycle is a project by Safe Steps, a registered charity (number 1177687)